I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Randomize
