he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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