I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
