Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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