grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
