Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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