You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
