I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
