is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
