he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
