Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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