It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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