We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
