My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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