Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Randomize
