Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
