He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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