If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
