I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
