I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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