Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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