Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
