Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
