Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
