so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
