I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
