We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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