Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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