I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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