What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
How's work?
Spinning.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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