Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
