So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize