Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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