hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
