I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Is it because I queefed?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
my liver is dry heaving
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize