before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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