Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Watching her eat just hurts me
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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