Will you blow on my dice?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
