Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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