VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The adults are the big ones right?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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