yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize