Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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