I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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