I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
