Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
