eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
