I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
