She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
