your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
...so i touched it.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
