Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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