So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
