Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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