Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
