Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I want to be your penis for a week.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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