you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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