I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
