Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
