My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
