I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The struggles of a small town man whore
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
