He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
