just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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