I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
