rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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