No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
