Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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